| "Daddy
put his seed in mummy"
" I knew we were going to be trying for another baby in a
few years, so to try and prepare my son for it I told him
the birds and the bees in toddler format. We dropped him off
with his Nan for the night once, and as we walked out the
door he shouted, 'Dad, don't forget to put your seed in Mummy
tonight!'. Eeeekkkk. When I did finally get pregnant, he went
around telling everyone 'My Dad put his seed in Mummy' with
a really smug look on his face." Claire
Why is that lady
so fat?
"The worst one my son ever did was last year when we were
sitting on a bus. A very large lady sat right in front of
my son, who pointed directly at her and said very loudly,
'Mum, why is this lady so fat?'. The woman next to me could
barely stifle her laughter and I went scarlet with shame and
tried to distract him with something out of the window. The
rest of the journey was very uncomfortable I can tell you!"
Anna
"Don't give up
your day job"
When my nephew was very little, I took him to the vet with
me to check on our old cat. The vet was examining puss, who
was scared and yowling, and my nephew said to the vet, 'You're
not very good at this are you?'. Thankfully, the vet had a
good sense of humour and told my nephew that, no, he wasn't
very good, he'd only had 20 years' experience!" Jan
"Mum's a cokehead"
"Rachael came out with my most embarrassing moment on the
bus. (I must state that at the time I drank a lot of diet
Coke.) My husband is an audio engineer and, therefore, into
speakers big time. After hearing daddy describe himself as
a 'speakerhead', Rachael said 'You're a cokehead, aren't you
mummy?' at full volume. I was so embarrassed I didn't know
where to put my face!" Steph
"There are
hookers on this bus!"
"That reminds me of another with my son on the bus! The
bus was packed and people were standing up, holding onto the
straps that hang down from the ceiling, when Harry shouts
out very loud, 'There are hookers on this bus!'. People turned
round to see what was going on and it was only afterwards
I found out he meant the 'hooks' hanging down for people to
hold on to!" Anna
Too much
honesty
"We were on the bus and I realised my mum hadn't given me
any money for my brother's bus fare. He had just turned five
the week before so I told him to say he was four when he was
on the bus because mummy forgot his pennies. We were sat there
and an old lady was sat opposite. He told her it was his birthday
last week and when the lady asked how old he was he proudly
(and very loudly announced ) 'Well I'm 5 really but I've got
to be 4 on the bus so my sister doesn't have to pay for me'!"
Suzanne
"She was trying
to be nice"
"Isobel, 3, went through a phase of calling people fat,
not nastily but just saying, 'She's fat isn't she mum?'. We
kept trying to explain that people might be sad if they heard
her say that, so it's best not to mention it. The following
week, we went to the hairdresser's and my hairdresser is a
large lady. We walked in and Isobel said, 'She's not fat is
she mum?'. It did make me smile - she was trying to be nice!"
Wendy
"Everyone
knew about my husband's vasectomy"
"After my husband had his vasectomy, he had to tell our
oldest daughter to be careful around him 'cos he had a sore
pee-pee. Next day, we took the kids to nursery and Ellie told
the carers, in front of some other mums, 'Daddy's got a sore
pee-pee'. Another mum said 'You can't tell them anything!'
I turned up at lunch to collect them and the girls casually
told me Ellie had told everyone in the nursery and they were
all having a right good laugh! How embarrassing!" Jill
"They asked
to see my boogies!"
"I don't have kids but once, when I was looking after my
friend's boys, aged 2 and 4, one of them embarrassed me immensely.
We were walking to the shop and had to pass a big building
site. It was a hot sunny day so all the builders had their
tops off. As we walked by, Luke yelled out, nice and loud
in a quiet village, 'I can see that man's boogies!' (his word
for boobies). I was mortified, especially as all the men started
laughing and asking to see my 'boogies'! I ran into the shop
with the boys, then spent ages looking at sweets, dreading
having to walk back past them to get home! When we came out,
they were all still laughing and waved when we walked by,
Luke grinning and waving back!' Aly
"He showed
me his erection"
I was in a posh clothes shop in Liverpool called Kids Cavern
and my son was two at the time. I was at the counter paying
for something and my son said 'Look mummy, I've got a big
willy'. He had pulled his trousers and pants down and had
an erection! I was gobsmacked! Luckily the shop assistant
just laughed. I pulled his trousers up and told him that it's
not nice to get your willy out when you're shopping. For the
next few weeks when we went to town I made sure he had dungarees
on! Lieb
"My mum has
never forgiven me"
"When I was about 3, my mum was in the bathroom for a while.
I kept asking her what she was doing and she kept saying 'I'm
on the toilet'. Then I kept asking her what she was doing
on the toilet and she finally answered 'I'm doing a jobby'.
Anyhow, the doorbell went and I answered it (I should have
known better!) and a young, gorgeous salesman was at the door.
He asked if my mummy was home and I replied, just as my mum
came into earshot/view, 'She's on the toilet doing a jobby'.
My mum has never forgiven me!" Sus
Tesco
troubles
"We try to be quite open with our daughter and she sees us
in the nude in the bathroom etc. A few years ago, (she must
have been about 3), she announced to everyone in the queue
at Tesco's, 'My daddy has got a really big willy you know".
I died. She has also announced, whilst sitting in the shopping
trolley, that she enjoys eating her bogeys because they taste
nice. And then, not long after I got pregnant with her little
sister, we did the birds and bees thing. She then announced
to a pregnant lady we walked past in town at the top of her
voice, 'I know what you've been doing!'."
Your Stories!
What's your most embarrassing moment? Let us know and we'll
certainly share the experience here, obviously we will omit
from revealing the true identities. Send in your stories to
the webmaster
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