Katie Melua - "If you were a Sailboat" - Parody

If you were some tiling
I would grout you
If you were a rule book
I would flout you all the same
If you were football
You would be my favourite game
If you were an onion
I would munch you
If you were a banker
I would lunch you for a loan
If you were off work
I've got a hunch
I'd stay at home
If you were ten pints of beer
I would drink you down my dear
And collapse upon the floor..
Ten pints of lager is I fear
To much for me and that's for sure..
If you were the A66
I'd use you
And cut ten minutes of my usual journey's hell
If you were a fishshop
I would love that fishy smell
If you were ten pints of beer
I would drink you down my dear
And collapse upon the floor..
Ten pints of lager is I fear
To much for me and that's for sure..
If you were a peppercorn
I'd grind you
If you were Jarvis Cocker
I would remind you, to have a bath
And now I would take you for a meal
Just for a laugh
If you were a pool
I'd chlorinate you
If you were an attic, insulate you
Is what I would do
If you were a radio station
I'd tune into you..
If you were a radio station
I'd tune into you...